New Job

I am both looking forward to and dreading the coming of Monday. Starting Monday, my life will be very different than it ever has - I start my first full-time, no end in sight job. The job is absolutely perfect for me - it is close to home, the people seem very nice, the work is just what I was looking for, and my disability should be a minor factor in my ability to perform well. I will be a Senior User Interface Engineer, and a large portion of my time will be at the computer and in meetings - there are low physical requirements. I am really looking forward to contributing to something and being part of a team. But I'm still scared. I have been in the building for interviews, and it is very accessible - there aren't even any stairs! But there will be still be lots of walking to do and many new people to meet. What will they think of me? Should I bring a cane? If people ask me why I walk the way I do, what should I say? Sometimes I think using a cane would be a bit liberating because it signals to people that yes, I do have a disability, rather than having them wonder what is up with my walking. It is hard not to worry about this stuff.

Another thing that I am thankful for, though, is that I shared with the interviewers (who I will be working closely with) my disability and what difficulties it presents. It is really comforting to know that they already know - I don't have to worry about how to tell them now, and I don't have to feel like I was hiding something from them when they decided to hire me.

Regardless of my fears of Monday, I just count myself so blessed to be given this opportunity. While my legs don't work so great, God has given me a pretty good brain. And what I am good at and what I like to do is mostly on the computer, so having not so great legs isn't a big deal. Earlier in university I focused more on manufacturing engineering, but certain things happened that steered me away from that after graduation. At the time, I wasn't happy about not going in that direction. But now, I see it as such a blessing! While I am sure I would have done what I needed to do to get my work done, it would be difficult to be a manufacturing engineer with a poor walking ability. God certainly knows what is best for us way before we do. And while I see that over and over again in my life, I still find it difficult to take that perspective when new troubles arise.